So here’s the T-stained truth: TURNIPSTYLE.COM’s been a bit… quiet. Dormant. Like a forgotten jockstrap at the bottom of your gym bag—still there, still full of potential, just waiting to be yanked back into service.
Bring a Towel, It Gets Juicy
I’ve challenged myself to get back into the swing of injecting some energy into TURNIPSTYLE again. Call it a soft relaunch, call it an editorial resurrection, call it queer caffeine for the culture. Either way, this is the beginning of me branching out again—and you bet your ass it’s going to be an adventure, inconvenient, and a little bit loud.
Here’s what’s recently bubbled up:
🎧 Music Was the Vibe—Then YouTube Killed It
When New Releases Kill the Vibe: How YouTube Music is Failing Premium Users
An honest tantrum about how YouTube Music seems hell-bent on making paid users hate music. Spoiler: autoplay is not a vibe, Karen.
📺 Screaming in the Fridge: A YouTube TV Horror
The 5 Stages of Finding a Video on YouTube TV
Equal parts rant and support group, this one’s for anyone who’s ever tried to rewatch anything on YouTube TV and ended up yelling into the void (or their fridge). Includes a sarcastic infographic and light emotional damage.
🧍 Assigned Seating Is Not a Suggestion, Mary
You Had One Job, Mary—Know Your Bloody Seat
A passive-aggressive PSA disguised as a grown-up conversation about entitlement, space, and the sacred art of just sitting where you’re told.
🍕 Pizza, Please… and Maybe Some Dick
Pizza, Please… and Maybe Some Dick
A nostalgic (and fully erect) look at the iconic awkwardness of 80s gay porn. Because nothing says “plot development” like a delivery guy who forgets both your address and his lines. Pride Month? Consider it served.
💥 PROMO TIME: Inspired by this mess of mozzarella and moaning, you can now get 10% off all ESSEN EHM gear at TURNIP TEEZ using the code REWINDME.
Yes, the Always Over Cock tee is included. Yes, it’s plumbing humour. Yes, it’s Pride. You’re welcome.
👬 THRIPLE With an “I”—Let’s Call It What It Is
It’s THRIPLE with an I, Not Throuple with an OU
Exploring the fine line between “we’re poly and healthy” and “I’m being emotionally ghosted by two brunch goblins.” Call it a glossary, call it a warning label.
⚖️ “Fair” Isn’t Always Equal—And That’s Okay
Fair Isn’t Always Equal
Turns out, treating everyone exactly the same is a great way to ignore people’s needs. This one’s all about nuance, context, and not being a sanctimonious twit about equity.
This is just the start. TURNIPSTYLE’s coming off the bench, The Pool is still Closed, and I’m leaning into making both louder, cheekier, and more thoughtful.
Let’s kick off Pride the proper way: inconveniently visible, gloriously mouthy, and dressed in discount queerwear.
Use the code REWINDME. Wear the tee. Be the plumber you want to see in the world.
–T
turnip HED
